I am moving. I used my other invitation and set up desolate. Updates will be made there from today. I will start adding everyone later.

Please defriend this and add desolate if you happen to see this.

Insecurity seeps in. Even the tiniest things can cause an explosion.

Just keep the month shut and carry on. It will do you good.

It's in less than a month,
and it is still too long to wait.

What is jealousy made of?

I have no interest in becoming a Brit, it's just the place I want to be now.

In my muddy shoes in Edinburgh,
you kept me from falling on my face.

I never quite know what set me apart for him,
but I always know what sets him apart.

He loves me so, so, so much.

(I love him too, but I fail in showing it.)

Will I one day gather the courage and say

"Fuck it, let's go away and get married."

?

Being able to see a glimpse of what you have missed out, is it good? Why do I feel like viewing an aquarium of an alternative universe sometimes? Is a sense of loss necessary for a full, wonderful life? Why do I cry at inappropriate times? 

Writing with a pencil makes me feel alive, like I am leaving a mark. Even when the paper I write on gets burnt eventually, the ashes will rise up and become part of the world. It is substance, perhaps... proof of the soul?

It sucks. :(

This post might make everyone vomit due to cheesyness, so be warned.


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Ah. I am so hopeless. ~_~

Michael's flights have been booked, so finally, something to look forward to!

Working out my finances and trying to see how much money I will have available at the end of the year. A few things are kind of hard to predict, but it is not looking too bleak, which is always good news.

Sounds like a lot more people are currently in/are going to Ireland than I realised. Why? Perhaps they don't worry. The real question is, do I really want to compare?

I have plans which involve other people. Leaving everything and everyone out of them is utterly selfish and is definitely not what I want. Not to mention I do not want to spend all my money on a year of switching jobs every three months or not having a job at all. When I do it, I want it to be great. I want to be happy.

So, until then, endure and (try to) enjoy.

Not sure if it was because of this layout, but I actually prefer dreamwidth now. If it ever grew as big as LJ, I actually wouldn't mind to support it by paying.

I have been sick these few days. I went to bed at around 10:30 last night, only to wake up at 1am feeling like I was going to puke. And when I woke up this morning, the thought of going to work made me want to puke.

A friend of a friend has acquired a holiday work visa to spend a year in Republic of Ireland. While it was an interesting choice (instead of Australia and New Zealand), it has made me incredibly jealous. Someone who supposedly has less reasons to do it did it, and I sit here all day complaining about how the world is treating me.

Planning time, Melody. Plan big.

Changed the layout, that one was a bit too complicated. Really like this one, so it will probably stay on for a bit.  I am quite comfortable with dreamwidth so far, really wouldn't mind blogging on free accounts with no ads.

Now to more important matters, I need nature. Scotland, Ireland, or the now-fairy-tale-like-to-me New Zealand. Somewhere, somewhere that doesn't choke one to death.

Thank you wolfsheart for the invite. :)

Now, we will see how this works out for us...